Resolutions, proposed goals, future plans, all feel better when the year is coming to an end.

Why is that?

Upon evaluation, it seems we feel happier to create and manifest achievable goals when there is a distinctive new start, a brand new page to write on, a new year to succeed in. If we were to dig a little deeper into the psychology of New Year’s resolutions, we would begin to realise that our goals feel a lot more achievable than that of the present because we have yet to have failed, faced setbacks or hardships.  We are yet to be burdened by the fear of failing. On a blank page there are no typing errors. In a New Year looming there are not yet failures.

It is clear that we humans often look at goals and failures in a harmful way. We use our goals to propel us forward recklessly and thoughtlessly, and hardly ever enjoy the continual process of growth and development that we are going through.  If we fail we can become instantly crushed, frustrated, deflated and disappointed. In damaging scenarios within the process of failure, we can completely give in and cease to motivate ourselves enough to try again. We then move forward to create even more new goals, which inevitably will fail due to a particular model of thinking.

How then do we learn to set achievable goals? Better still, how do we learn to engage with our failures, and turn them into success stories?

Ensure that the goal you are trying to achieve is for the benefit of yourself.

It seems pretty simple. However, more often than not people set goals that they subconsciously do not see the point in achieving.

Take the example of gaining weight throughout the year. Although you are comfortable with your figure, your partner or children may notice and comment on your new stature. Your partner may encourage you to go on a diet, engage in healthy eating or a regular exercise program. You then set the intention of losing weight within 2019. Unfortunately, this intention is doomed from the beginning. This is because the source of the intention is not internal but external. Where will this external force be to motivate your new healthy way of living when you are in the sugary snack isle in Woolworths, away from your partner? If there is an internal force guiding you, you will make the right decision based on your intention. If there isn’t, you will fail. We cannot achieve anything that does not truly inspire us, or we feel apathetic towards.

Make a point of evaluating why you are striving towards particular goals. Ensure that completing the mission will instill joy and admiration of one’s self. Take time to evaluate what it is YOU want to achieve and WHY you want to achieve it. Be it emotional, physical or financial. This will only cement your intention and help you move forward positively.

Re-evaluate your perspective of failure.

We are all, to a degree, pre-programmed with the notion that failure equates to worthlessness, that failure diminishes our success, that failure is completely negative. This is simply not true.

When a child is learning to walk and they take three steps and fall down, the parents still clap and cheer. They clap and cheer for the success of the child taking those three steps, and in encouragement so the child will keep trying to walk. Why do we not show the same encouragement to ourselves in adulthood?

After deciding on our future goals, we have to accept that there are going to be periods in which we have to take steps back, or periods in which we fall down completely. We must learn to forgive ourselves if we fail. If we can view these periods as a time for further evaluation, a time to fine tune our intentions, a time to remind ourselves just how important the goal is to achieve, we can turn failure into transformational change instantly. Stop the pre-programmed fear of failing, and harness it to your advantage.

If a goal is harder to accomplish than you initially thought and you are repeatedly facing failures, break it down into smaller achievable intentions.

Setting manageable goals is a key factor in accomplishing them. For example, you might decide you want to create an independent business. Within that long term goal there may be twenty or more individual intentions you have to achieve to succeed in totality. These could be things as simple as finding a business venue to operate in, choosing a business name and determining which products to sell. Long term goals often feel unachievable because they simply have too many aspects involved to focus on successfully. By achieving smaller goals within a bigger picture, we can succeed in creating the larger image of our intention in manageable time.